Striped Toe Socks
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
A Snapshot of Life
In the intimate moments before sleep last night I was loning for some of the pillow talk of the ealry stages of our relationship when we would play the Future Game. So I asked J, "where do you think we'll be in seven years?" He mumbles sleepily "God knows, but someplace." Humph. "Aww, come on, play along."
He wasn't playing.
I think it's all the Emily and Matt stuff that has me thinking about how relationships start and change and all that energy at the beginning, when you are testing the waters and always wondering what the other person is thinking. I've been a little hard on J because of it. I don't think you can ever recapture those early moments. Life just isn't like that. We can't go back to when we didn't know each other, when everything was still a mystery. We have years of love, loss, shared moments of time that have brought us to where we are today. I think too much power is placed on the early times. Those aren't the times that create a life, they are just a shaky start.
We don't play the Future Game anymore because we don't need to. We're sure of each other, we don't need to test the waters of what the other person wants in the coming years.
It's a trade off, but I'll take it.
He wasn't playing.
I think it's all the Emily and Matt stuff that has me thinking about how relationships start and change and all that energy at the beginning, when you are testing the waters and always wondering what the other person is thinking. I've been a little hard on J because of it. I don't think you can ever recapture those early moments. Life just isn't like that. We can't go back to when we didn't know each other, when everything was still a mystery. We have years of love, loss, shared moments of time that have brought us to where we are today. I think too much power is placed on the early times. Those aren't the times that create a life, they are just a shaky start.
We don't play the Future Game anymore because we don't need to. We're sure of each other, we don't need to test the waters of what the other person wants in the coming years.
It's a trade off, but I'll take it.
posted by Ginny at 10:13 AM
4 Comments:
That's so true. I often, especially lately, find myself thinking back to the beginning - those wonderful times when we were discovering each other. I have to stop and remind myself to live for the here and now. Dwelling on the past (no matter how good it was) won't do me any good.
Beautiful post :)
Isn't it ironic that I'm kind of the opposite? Longing for the cute way you and J (poor guy) are with each other - it's just funny. And, you know, you guys actually live in the same country which is pretty nice, too....
It's crazy how Emily is getting to everyone! I think about those times too - back when you could talk for hours and hours! Where did that go? but it's also nice to just be comfortable enough to sit quietly with someone who will occasionally say "I love you pumpkin!" There's niceness about both times, I agree - you said it so well!
Both times have their charm but I think that the start has such a powerful hold precisely because it's so short lived, so new, so special and filled with potential. It's easy to forget the specialness of some level of ease and familiarity.
Lovely post.
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