Striped Toe Socks
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I understand what he is saying, I am more capable of love, his emotions are all locked up inside his cold dark outer shell. "I'm sure some days I love you more." He says. Yes, today for one, I mumble under my breath, loudly enough for him to hear. "Well, maybe it's time I should love you less," I tell him. I need to take back a few of those points. A love coup, a transfer of power to the next love regime.
But he's right.
I do love him more. I am more passionate, I love more fully, completely. I express everything in the context of how I feel about it. I rarely say I think this or that, it's always I feel. I go with my gut instinct. (After over thinking it in my own head) I love my friends and family with all of myself. Hell, I love Molly with all of myself. I don't half ass it.
I like it that way, I wouldn't trade it or change it. I wouldn't want to be in his head, where logic always rules. Not that logic has no place in the world, it has a big one. In order to strike balance though, it needs to walk hand in hand with emotion, with passion, with love. Love smooths logics sharp edge.
This morning when J left for work he took my face in his hands looked me in the eye, kissed me and I said "I love you". Yep, you love me 49%," I responded, "and I love you 51%".
I think he knows he still in trouble.