Striped Toe Socks
Saturday, June 28, 2008
On the Verge
I haven't blogged about this much at all. When I thought about writing this and any post really, I think about who is reading. My knitting friends, possibly my mom and maybe a few other people, but mostly my knitting friends. We are in the in between also. The not knowing just yet if we will be friends and become a whole or remain separate women who like to knit. On some of the smaller group nights, it has felt more intimate. I don't think this has so much to do with the number, as that those have been quieter nights when we can move closer and hear each other better. It's easier to share your heart when someone can hear your voice.
I never know how much to share with you all. I don't want to be labeled as the person trying to get pregnant, of course I'm so much more than that. The last seven months though it has been an almost constant thought. That's another part of what makes Sunday nights awesome, I am just me with you, well mostly I guess. If I start sharing this will I always think about it there? Will I stop flirting with cute coffee shop guy because I'm thinking about having a baby? It didn't stop me last week.
So I'm on the verge. Of deep friendship. Of motherhood or potential loss. Or of having a drink and some chocolate and moaning about cramps to my friends while I knit.