Striped Toe Socks
Saturday, June 28, 2008
On the Verge
I'm in the dreaded time of waiting. In the fertility forum world it is referred to as the "two week wait". I've never wanted to be one of those crazy TTC people. Since I'm obsessive and a little crazy about everything else in my life though, I'm not sure how I thought I could avoid it.
I haven't blogged about this much at all. When I thought about writing this and any post really, I think about who is reading. My knitting friends, possibly my mom and maybe a few other people, but mostly my knitting friends. We are in the in between also. The not knowing just yet if we will be friends and become a whole or remain separate women who like to knit. On some of the smaller group nights, it has felt more intimate. I don't think this has so much to do with the number, as that those have been quieter nights when we can move closer and hear each other better. It's easier to share your heart when someone can hear your voice.
I never know how much to share with you all. I don't want to be labeled as the person trying to get pregnant, of course I'm so much more than that. The last seven months though it has been an almost constant thought. That's another part of what makes Sunday nights awesome, I am just me with you, well mostly I guess. If I start sharing this will I always think about it there? Will I stop flirting with cute coffee shop guy because I'm thinking about having a baby? It didn't stop me last week.
So I'm on the verge. Of deep friendship. Of motherhood or potential loss. Or of having a drink and some chocolate and moaning about cramps to my friends while I knit.
I haven't blogged about this much at all. When I thought about writing this and any post really, I think about who is reading. My knitting friends, possibly my mom and maybe a few other people, but mostly my knitting friends. We are in the in between also. The not knowing just yet if we will be friends and become a whole or remain separate women who like to knit. On some of the smaller group nights, it has felt more intimate. I don't think this has so much to do with the number, as that those have been quieter nights when we can move closer and hear each other better. It's easier to share your heart when someone can hear your voice.
I never know how much to share with you all. I don't want to be labeled as the person trying to get pregnant, of course I'm so much more than that. The last seven months though it has been an almost constant thought. That's another part of what makes Sunday nights awesome, I am just me with you, well mostly I guess. If I start sharing this will I always think about it there? Will I stop flirting with cute coffee shop guy because I'm thinking about having a baby? It didn't stop me last week.
So I'm on the verge. Of deep friendship. Of motherhood or potential loss. Or of having a drink and some chocolate and moaning about cramps to my friends while I knit.
posted by Ginny at 9:24 AM
4 Comments:
Don't you dare stop flirting with coffee guy. Two reasons for that:
1. Free cookies tend to trickle down. As in "Lisa, have a bite of my free cookie from the cute coffee guy who simply takes your order and wonders why you keep looking at him and will probably think you're a crazy Sunday night stalker if you keep it up."
2. If I can't turn the head of coffee guy I'm glad someone I'm friends with can.
Talk to us about the fertility stuff. Seriously. It took Aaron and I about 9 months to get pregnant with the twins. I understand the constant thoughts about pregnancy and all that. I really do.
Also can you imagine how attractive we'll be to the coffee guy, what with all the ovary and sperm talk? OMG. He'll be dying to know us :) And that translates into free cookies for all.
It's all about the cookies man.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oh Ginny - you should never feel like you shouldn't share things with us! That's what having a group of friends is all about - a place to let it all go and not worry about being labeled as anything. I have a friend at work who when through a really really tough time trying to get pregnant - so as much as I really don't know what it's like, on a personal level, I can relate because of what she shared with me.
And if a wink and a smile gets you a free cookie - keep doing it till you're 80 lady!
I agree with both Lisa and Chris. Trying to get pregnant can be all encompassing and sometimes that is really okay. Talking about it can be good. I don't talk much about my process with trying to get pregnant or even about making the decision to try and then not try. It's not a tactic I recommend.
The part about being on the verge in terms of getting closer to people I also know. I feel like that about almost everyone I spend time with since moving - will they just be people I knit with, or will a few become women who I can call on a whim, or drop by spontaneously (because they were in the neighborhood), or or or!
My Sunday nights are so precious to me and the women who come are as well. I am so grateful you started coming.
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